


Jasmine and Cinnamon

by blakesparkles



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Poisoning, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Anxiety, Chase is very very tired, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Fluff, Feelings, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Happy Ending, Henry is totally a Sugar Daddy and no one is taking that away from me, Kids, Loneliness, M/M, Memories, Old Friends, Sexual Content, Starvation, Text Messages, Touch-Starved, Vomiting, dads being dads, inebriation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 18:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15914235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakesparkles/pseuds/blakesparkles
Summary: The green-haired man unlocks his screen, the artificial light casting down at him in the middle of the dim room, and a small smile shows on his face.akaA story of jasmine, cinnamon and bitter tears for memories that never happened.





	Jasmine and Cinnamon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lacemaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacemaze/gifts).



> Hey yall!! I've been thinking a lot about these two lately, especially after talking with [lace-maze](https://lace-maze.tumblr.com/) and [taterztots](https://taterztots.tumblr.com/) about it so I wanted to try something a bit different and light! It's my first time writing them and it was really nice exploring their characters! There's so much potential in this ship, it would be nice to see more of it!! Hope everyone likes it! :)

They said it was a bad idea.

 

Chase didn’t really agree with them, though. Jack wanted him to stay at their place, saying they could try to keep everything in order and more peaceful. But the green-haired man just scrunched up his nose at that, knowing how that would end. It wasn’t the first time he heard that from their roommates and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. He was getting stressed, not handling the noises. All that shouting. God, the _shouting._ He hates that. He really does. Chase really needed to have a place of his own. It took him some time, but they eventually gave up and let him go.

 

The boy sighs, remembering all of that, and he enters his apartment with droopy eyes. He walks into a small hallway, looking at his left to see the kitchen counter already, and he brushes his fingers against the white walls. Chase removes his hat, ruffling his hair, and he’s not even sure if he should call it green at this point. It’s been a while since the last time he dyed his hair. It has that yellow, dirty shade now. Roots showing. Gross. He looks around, in the living room, and he sighs once more. The boy crashes on the couch, ignoring the small television still on the ground, and he throws an arm over his eyes. There’s a couple of boxes on a corner, from when he moved a week ago, but he still hasn’t found the strength to open them and make this a proper home.

 

Chase tugs on the strings of his grey hoodie, thinking of today. He just came back from seeing his kids and he had a good time, he really did. Victoria and Oliver were wonderful, as always. They watched a movie together and had ice cream, the three of them constantly exchanging jokes and laughter. Everytime he sees them, he’s always impressed. They’ve grown so much and they’re so kind, so sweet. So smart. Chase loves them dearly and he’s so proud to be their father, even though they deserve someone better. His face scrunches up in emotion, biting his bottom lip to hold back a whimper. His eyes fill with tears, thinking of the day they were born. The first time he saw them, heard them cry. It feels like it was yesterday, really. He wishes it was, at least. Chase’s nose turns red, much like his eyes, and a few tears escape from his blue eyes. Why does he have to be so weak?

 

He lets out a small gasp when there’s a buzz on his right thigh and he sniffs, wiping his tears away and taking out his cell phone. The green-haired man unlocks his screen, the artificial light casting down at him in the middle of the dim room, and a small smile shows on his face. Henrik just sent him a text, asking how his day went, and Chase appreciates that. The man never fails to ask whenever he meets with his kids. Henrik’s also the one who talks with him the most, always keeping in touch since university. He didn’t insist for Chase to stay either, knowing it wouldn’t help the situation, and he himself had bought a house last year to have more privacy. Henrik still visits their friends, but he’s mostly busy with work. Chase thinks his friends must’ve found difficult to see another one of them leave. The green-haired man replies him after a moment, saying everything is fine and that he had fun. He rubs his eyes, not liking how sore they feel, and the doctor doesn’t lose much time to answer him.

 

**From Henrik, 7:23pm:**

_Have you eaten?_

 

**To Henrik, 7:23pm:**

_ate popcorn and had ice cream_

 

**From Henrik, 7:24pm:**

_That’s a no, then. Make something for you to eat, you idiot._

 

Chase snorts and he gets up with a groan, walking towards the kitchen. He checks his cupboards, seeing a bunch of chips and other junk foods, and he has to stand on his tippy toes to grab a package of noodles in the back. Henrik keeps chatting with him while he makes that for himself and there’s only the sound of water boiling in the apartment, with the occasional buzzes from his cell phone. Chase picks up the only bowl he has in this kitchen and washes it before adding the noodles, steam coming up to his face. He takes a picture of it and sends it to Henrik, which the doctor replies with a smiley emoji. Chase rolls his eyes and goes back to the couch, quietly eating. He stares at his reflection on the tv and he purses his lips. The boy should probably set up his video games at some point. He will have something to do, at least.

 

When he’s done eating, he leaves the bowl in the sink and walks into a small hallway between the living room and the kitchen. Chase opens the door to the left, entering his bedroom, and the others would probably pity him. There’s just a goddamn mattress on the ground, tousled sheets, one pillow. A simple lamp next to it, cable tangled up to a socket. He feels a sick twist in his stomach, knowing he’s an embarrassment to all of them, but he ignores it. The green-haired man removes his hoodie and shirt, unzipping his pants to stay just in his boxer briefs. Chase throws them on a corner, over a pile of dirty clothes, and he lies down with a huff. Henrik texts him goodnight and that, once again, puts a smile on his face. It’s nothing much, but it’s nice to know someone wants him well.

 

Chase brushes his fingers on his right wrist, feeling all the bracelets his children made for him, and he sighs. It doesn’t take too long for him to fall asleep, more than happy to shut his mind for once, and his dreams are shapeless. It leaves an ache in heart, a weight on his shoulders, and he wakes up with a sore body. He all but groans when the sunlight kisses his face, no curtains in the room, and he stretches himself still on the mattress. Chase stares at the ceiling, blinking softly, and he doesn’t really feel like getting up right now. There’s nothing for him to do, anyway. No one needs him right now. He doesn’t have a job yet and that’s another weight slowly crushing him. He’s been living with his last payment from his previous job and his friends’ aid. But it can only help so far.

 

So he stays in bed.

 

The green-haired man only sees his kids on Sundays and there’s nothing more going on in his life. All his friends have their own things to do, Henrik himself working at a hospital practically all day. He still doesn’t know how that man manages to text him during the day, to be perfectly honest. Chase barely has the energy to reply him and that doesn’t make him feel good. Henrik shouldn’t bother to talk to him. Hell, maybe he feels pity too. Just like the others. He knits his eyebrows, not liking that thought. He just rolls in bed, lying flat on his stomach, and he buries his face into his pillow in hope to sleep some more.

 

Chase does manage to doze off for a few more hours, but only to wake up abruptly by a doorbell ringing. He immediately sits up, hair sticking to odd places, and he glares at that noise. Who could it be, anyway? The green-haired man is thinking of just ignoring this but there’s a loud knock on his door that makes him groan. Chase gets up with narrowed eyes, scratching the back of his head and dragging his feet on the floor, and he asks who it is. When he leans against the wall to look at the peephole, though, his blood runs cold and his heart beats like a drum. Chase swears under his breath when Henrik’s voice reaches his ears and he looks down at himself, still wearing just his boxer briefs. He didn’t even shower yet! He’s all gross and-

 

 _“Chase, I know you’re there,”_ Henrik calls him from behind the door. _“C’mon. It’s rude to keep me waiting.”_

 

Fuck.

 

The boy grimaces and unlocks the door, slowly opening it with shame. Henrik looks… Well, he looks… Beautiful, as always. The man’s wearing a dark-green, turtleneck shirt, with slim black pants that fit him well. Brown hair combed back, perfectly in place. He’s holding a bouquet in one hand, while the other carries a tupperware. Henrik’s blue eyes behind his glasses widen at the sight of Chase, and the boy flushes from head to toes. The green-haired man swallows down his panic and gives him a stiff nod, aware of how exposed and shitty he looks right now.

 

“H-Hi, Henry.” Chase murmurs. “Didn’t know you were… coming here…”

 

“I called and texted you, but you weren’t answering your phone. I just got some time to see you.”

 

The green-haired man tells him to come in, rubbing the back of his neck, and he tries calming down his heart. God, he’s so stupid. He shouldn’t have slept that much. Henrik places the tupperware on the boy’s kitchen counter and he extends his hand, showing a small jasmine bouquet. Chase huffs with a smile and takes it, smelling them before looking at the man’s eyes. There’s a moment of silence, a bit awkward, and he shuffles on his feet. The boy presses the bouquet closer to his chest and he looks around his place, ashamed that Henrik is seeing how he lives. He purses his lips.

 

“You know what? I think I should shower and get some clothes. Can you wait just a bit?” Chase asks and Henrik flashes a smile, eyes turning into half-moons. He nods and says he will take care of the flowers. “Oh, yeah! T-Thanks…”

 

Chase gives him the bouquet back and he goes to bathroom, wanting to shower. _C’mon, man! Wake up,_ he tells himself. _Shake it off._  The green-haired man washes his hair, thinking about Henrik in his living room. It’s been a little bit over a week since he last saw him and, despite being a short time, it’s still the longest they’ve ever gotten without seeing each other. Both of them must be feeling that awkwardness. Chase wasn’t expecting to see him today. He didn’t expect the man to find some time to go there, jesus. And he brought flowers? And food? God, Chase really doesn’t deserve him as a friend. He’s too kind. The green-haired man sighs and steps out of the shower to dry himself, brushing his teeth before going to the bedroom. He quickly snatches a clean underwear and a shirt that says _Tea Rex_ , along with black torn jeans.

 

When he comes back, looking way more decent, Henrik is frowning in the kitchen while opening the cupboards. He grabs a cup of glass and murmurs about Chase not having any vase in the house. The boy laughs and apologizes, promising that he will get one soon. For now, the doctor places the flowers in the glass with some water. It’s not a big bouquet - not that he’s complaining, of course - so it will work just fine. Chase leans against the counter, staring at the man with a goofy smile. They exchange a look, eyes shining, and the boy asks why he’s there. Not that he’s bothered by it. He’s just curious. It’s the first time someone entered his empty apartment.

 

“I wanted to congratulate you for having a new home,” Henrik says and Chase’s eyebrows twitch at that last word. “I’m showing my good wishes through these flowers. The others all gathered to make you some cherry pie, though.”

 

They all look at the tupperware on the counter and, when the doctor moves to open the lid, the sweet smell hits the air and Chase’s mouth waters. He bites his bottom lip and his empty stomach growls. Fuck. Henrik pushes his glasses up to his nose and huffs, already looking for a plate and cutlery. The green-haired man tugs on his bracelets, walking up to him, and he watches the man cut a piece of the pie. It feels normal, having him there. Like before. It leaves a pang in his heart, knowing he changed that. Even if it was the best solution for him, he does miss this tall german. Chase comes back to reality when the man gives him a plate and he eats the pie, closing his eyes at the cherry taste. It’s his favorite flavor and he thanks Henrik for this. They chat while eating and he’s glad that Henrik will only work at night today. The jasmine flowers stay between them, on a counter, and it’s _nice._

 

He licks his thumb once he’s done eating his third piece of pie and Henrik is quiet, taking a deep breath. Chase asks if he wants to stay a little longer, saying he could set up his playstation, and the man huffs but nods. The green-haired man drags him into the living room, telling him to ignore the dirty plates, and he giggles while opening some boxes. Henrik sits on the couch, arm over it, legs crossed. He’s so slender and always so clean. Chase focuses on the playstation, brushing these thoughts away, and he feels _excited_ doing this. He forgets about his problems for a moment and just truly enjoys the man’s presence, giving him a joystick so they can play Mario Kart. Henrik doesn’t know what to do most of the time and it’s rather hilarious to see him glaring at the screen, but they have fun.

 

Chase nudges his elbow several times, trying to make him fail, and the German calls him out. It’s easy to be around him and they quickly go back to those days, back in that other house, laughing and teasing one another. Chase has a laughing fit at some point, throwing his head back, and Henrik shakes his head. He stares at the boy, forgetting the game, and he snorts. The green-haired man drags a hand over his face, grinning like an idiot, and Henrik takes off his glasses to clean them on the hem of his shirt. Chase clears his throat, pulling his legs up on the couch, and he looks at him. The brown-haired man has a single strand of hair out of place, hovering over his forehead, and the boy holds back the urge to brush his fingers there. Henrik puts on his glasses and he sighs, placing the control next to him.

 

“How have you been holding up, Chasey?”

 

“Calling me that is a low blow, tsk. Took you long enough to ask that, though… I’m fine,” the boy sighs, pursing his lips, and Henrik scowls. “I’m _fine._ ”

 

“We just want you well, you know that. That’s why I asked,” the man murmurs. “If you’re really comfortable here, then, I’m happy.”

 

“I’m… I am happy, yeah. Of course. I got what I wanted.”

 

“What was it that you wanted?”

 

“Q-,” Chase knits his eyebrows, feeling like he’s part of a test. “Quiet.”

 

The brown-haired man looks at him but Chase avoids his eyes, tugging on his bracelets, as if he’s really busy. Henrik keeps staring, a light scowl on his face, but then he just sighs and drops the subject. He stands up and Chase finally turns his gaze to him, heart skipping a beat when the brown-haired man says he needs to go. Right. He has to work. He has things to do. Shit. The green-haired man hopes he didn’t bother the German that much, making him stay that long. The boy follows him towards the door, smiling and thanking him for today. Henrik finally touches that strand of hair and pushes it back, looking down at him, and they exchange a smile. There’s a brief moment of silence between them, both not knowing what to do, and Chase tightens his grip on the doorknob.

 

“Thank you for the flowers! I really liked them,” he says.

 

“You’re welcome,” Henrik replies and then hums. “I was thinking… Maybe you could come to my house one day, with the kids. Dominik would love some company.”

 

Chase lets out an _Oh_ sound and blinks several times, thinking about it. Dominik is Henrik’s only son and he knows that his kid has been more quiet since his mother passed away. It’s been over two years since that happened and Henrik slowly put himself together. They were divorced by that point, but it was still very difficult for him to deal with. Chase was there, trying to show support. It was horrible to see the man like that, devastated. He shakes his head, focusing on now. Henrik has a small house in a suburban area, but he’s never really there. He’s mostly at the hospital and, frankly, Chase doesn’t know how Dominik handles that. Must be tough for a ten years old kid. It would also be the first time their kids would meet, even after all this time.

 

“Yeah, that would be fun! I’m sure my little demons will find a way to corrupt him.”

 

Henrik chuckles and they agree to meet next Sunday. They say goodbye and Chase waves in the hallway until the German is in the elevator. He goes back inside and sighs, resting his forehead against the door. The green-haired man looks back at the living room and kitchen, grimacing. It feels even more empty after he left and Chase tries not to think about that too much. His shoulders fall, head down, and he drags his feet back to the bedroom. The boy huffs when lying down on his mattress, staring at the ceiling, and his ears ring with the silence. It was nice seeing Henrik, though. It really was. That man is so kind, so thoughtful.

 

Chase groans under his breath, hoping he doesn’t fuck this up.

  


* * *

 

 

As the days pass, he feels more anxious.

 

It’s a Saturday and Chase hasn’t been drinking for a week now. A whole fucking week. Not a single drop of alcohol. He’s damn proud of that, as little as it may sound. But he’s been biting his nails constantly, jiggling his leg and he’s back at sleeping poorly. After Henrik’s visit, something must’ve stirred inside of him. The thought of going to his house tomorrow, meeting his kid, socializing and still trying to be a good _dad._ It’s getting to him. He’s sitting on his mattress, eyes down at the white sheets but unfocused, and his hands clench every now and then. His hair is a mess, falling over his forehead, and he needs a goddamn haircut. Chase’s mouth is ajar, breathing shallow, and his eyes are red from crying over how lost he feels sometimes. He knows that there are no drinks in the house and that thought alone makes his face crumble, his throat dry, and fingers twitch.

 

He can’t, though. Not again.

 

The green-haired man swallows hard and he lies down, back turned towards the door, and he curls up into a ball. Chase grinds his teeth and new tears stream down his face, staining his sheets. With the quietness of this place, it’s easy to hear his weak little whimpers. His choked sobs and groans, his anguish. He won’t deny that he misses those feelings. Arms heavy, world swimming whenever he moves, thoughts all tangled and unclear. Nothing to worry about. It felt wonderful, as if he was walking on clouds, eyes never really focused. That tingling sensation in his tongue after a couple of doses. Chase groans and punches his mattress. _Shut up, shut up, just fucking shut up._ He clenches his hands into fists, so tight that his nails hurt his skin, and it grounds him. The green-haired man lets out a shaky breath, eyes shut, face red. He counts to ten and breathes, in and out. In and out.

 

He thinks of jasmine, flowers that sadly are withering over his counter. Of that empty tupperware that had a delicious cherry pie. Of that joystick still on his couch and a strand of hair out of place. Chase slowly relaxes, heart racing but finding its pace again, and he unclenches his hands. He sniffs and opens his eyes, shining with tears, and he sees red half-moons into the palms of his hands. The green-haired man sighs and he covers his face, wanting to sleep and forget everything. There are dark circles under his eyes and his stomach is empty, begging for something that is not water. He doesn’t move, waiting for time to pass like that. Wishing this agony goes away.

 

It doesn’t, not really, but he does cry himself to sleep. Chase tosses himself left and right, eyes moving fast behind his eyelids, and he wakes up exhausted. He forces himself to get up, walking into the bathroom to empty his bladder and wash his face. The green-haired man brushes his teeth and takes a cold shower, wanting to fully wake up and face the day. He gets dressed in black jeans and a grey t-shirt, putting on a jacket over it. Chase picks up his car keys and he doesn’t leave without his hat, locking up his apartment and calling the elevator. His car is honestly a piece of junk and he bought it back when he was starting university, but he still adores it very much. Chase turns on the ignition, glad it’s not making a fuss about it today, and he goes to pick up his kids at Stacy’s house.

 

She never go out to see him, just opening the front door for Victoria and Oliver, and he also never leaves the car. They come running, both holding their little bags with the things they need, and Chase grins at the sight. Victoria’s hair is loose, her brown curls moving with the wind, and she’s wearing a dark blue dress. Oliver’s hair is short, light blond, and his cheeks are always flushed. He looks more like his mother and he’s wearing a _Captain America_ shirt. They’re just two years apart, Vicky with eight and Ollie with six years old. The green-haired man welcomes them happily when they get inside the car, and they move to kiss his cheek before sitting back down.

 

“Alright, is everyone excited for today?”

 

“Yes!” they say in unison, but Vicky adds. “We wanna see uncle Henrik.”

 

Chase snorts. Everyone is an uncle and aunt for them, it’s adorable. “Let’s go then! Put on your seatbelts.”

 

They talk in the car, both telling their dad what happened during the week and how they’re doing. Chase is happy to know that they’re doing well, that school hasn’t been so harsh. Ollie was having troubles with some bullies but Chase did his best to talk to the principal and give his child advice. Oliver will probably get along with Dominik the most, being calmer than Vickie. He hopes so, at least. It takes a good half an hour for them to arrive at Henrik’s house, and when they do, Chase purses his lips at the place. He’s pretty sure they have a good neighborhood there, rich people fancying their lives. The tall German lives in a two-floor house and the boy’s heart skips a beat, getting out of the car to help his kids. He takes their bags, placing the colorful straps over his shoulder, and they walk on a small rock path, pretty flowers around them.

 

Chase rings the doorbell and he holds his kids’ hands on each side, stomach folding with anxiety. When the door opens, he takes a deep breath and Henrik’s smile is the first thing he sees. The man greets the kids and they all cheer, content to see him. The brown-haired man is wearing a black polo shirt with light jeans, hair still back and beard trimmed. Fuck, Chase’s suddenly self-conscious of how crappy he looks. They exchange a smile, nonetheless, and they get inside. It’s the first time he’s there and the place is clean, wide open, wooden floor. He has to calm down his kids, not wanting them to run around and break something, and Vicky promises to be good. Chase sighs and Henrik chuckles, saying they’re alright and can explore the place.

 

The green-haired man places their bags over a glass table, taking out some of their toys and books. Oliver grabs his cape so Chase can wrap around his shoulders and Henrik opens the glass door that leads to the yard, saying they can play until lunch is done. The boy looks outside and sees a beautiful garden, with a pool, and there’s a swing in the back. Chase huffs and he sees a kid sitting on a stool, at the kitchen counter. He has dark brown hair, parted to the side, and he’s wearing a white t-shirt under a small green cardigan. He’s clearly Henrik’s son, same shade of blue in his eyes. Chase walks up to him with a huge smile, raising his hand in the air like a fist.

 

“Hey, kid! You must be Dominik! I’m Chase!” he says and the kid just knits his eyebrows at him. The green-haired man chuckles and shakes his hand. “C’mon, don’t leave me hanging.”

 

Dominik’s eyes flicker back at him and his father, as if making sure this is normal, and Henrik nods once at him. The kid slowly raises his hand and fist bumps Chase. The green-haired man murmurs _Hell yeah_ and introduces his children, everyone waving and already asking if they can play. Dominik really seems shy, too serious, but Henrik gives him a little push and tells him it’s alright. He glances at Chase’s hat a couple of times and the man hums, taking it off and putting it over his head.

 

“Here, take care of this for me,” he grins. “It looks awesome on you.”

 

“T-Thanks,” Dominik smiles shyly and gets up to follow his kids.

 

The brown-haired man looks at them for a moment, humming, and then he stares back at Chase.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing,” Henrik smiles. “You’re going to help me with lunch, sir.”

 

Chase bows, earning a laugh from the tall German, and they walk into the kitchen. The green-haired man may not be the best cooker in the world, but when Henrik says they will make something he can’t even pronounce, he laughs and shakes his head. The brown-haired man seems confused by his reaction, seeing nothing wrong with what he wants to do, and Chase finds it adorable. He says they will make a mac and cheese and Henrik just knits his eyebrows, saying that’s not healthy.

 

“Henry! They’re kids!” Chase giggles, already taking out some pasta from a cupboard. “It’s Sunday! We gotta live a little bit, don’t you think? They will love it, it’s not that hard.”

 

The doctor’s cheeks gain a shade of red and he rolls his eyes, nodding. They fall easily into a conversation after that, while cooking, and it’s rather comfortable. They listen to their children laughing in the yard, playing and talking. Chase’s stomach growls several times and he takes a deep breath, telling himself he’ll have something too. He didn’t eat anything in the morning. Yesterday too. The green-haired man scratches his beard, back turned to Henrik, and his smile slips from his face. He holds back a sigh, preparing some juice for everyone, and he’s tapping his foot on the ground. He’s stirring the orange juice after adding some sugar and he swallows, wanting to drink. But not that kind of drink. A hand on his side jumpscares him and Chase gasps, dropping the wooden spoon on the counter. He turns around to see the brown-haired man behind him, whispering an apology.

 

The boy huffs a nervous smile and says it’s fine. Chase freezes when Henrik brushes his hair away from his face, fingers touching his forehead, and the boy’s heart flutters. They exchange a look, Chase’s mouth ajar, and the doctor drops his hand while pursing his lips.

 

“Sorry,” he whispers again. “Your hair is getting longer.”

 

“Y-Yeah, I… I need a haircut.” Chase breathes. “Badly.”

 

Henrik flashes a gorgeous smile, white teeth, and the boy’s stomach flips inside. God. What is this? Shit. Chase clears his throat and focuses on getting some bacon. The brown-haired man scratches his own beard, not really into that, but the boy says it will be worth it. Chase tries not to tremble so much while adding the cheese, not wanting Henrik to notice it, and they set the table. The doctor is the one who calls the kids when everything is ready and Chase tells them to wash their hands before sitting down. He was anxious about this. He really was. The boy finds it oddly easy now, though. To be around them and just… have a good time. Henrik was right about Dominik feeling better with them, walking more with a smile, and Chase likes that. He’s a sweet boy.

 

They eat the mac and cheese, everyone liking it, and Chase sends Henrik a grin. He rolls his eyes again and Dominik really digs into his food, hat aside when sitting at the table. Chase also finally eats and his stomach can shut up for once. He sighs after some bites and Henrik glances at him every now and then. Chase remembers his touch from before, on his hip, and he chugs down a glass of orange juice. Victoria eyes him but says nothing, everyone finishing their meals, and his kids all thank Henrik for it. Chase’s heart swells and he ruffles Oliver’s hair, everyone getting up. He takes their plates, putting them in the sink to wash them. but the brown-haired man places a hand on his shoulder to call his attention.

 

“You never wash your dishes at home,” Henrik says and that word _home_ still doesn’t feel right. “Leave it. Have some fun, too. We wave water guns by the pool.”

 

Chase’s eyes widen and, before he can stop himself, he plants a quick kiss on Henrik’s cheek before running outside. His heart races immediately, thinking what the fuck did he just do, and he can’t see the man’s reaction anymore. Chase just shakes it off and finds the water guns, calling the kids to help him fill them up. They make two teams: Dominik with Oliver and Victoria with him, and they all spread around the yard to hide. It doesn’t take too long for him to get in the game and act along with their imagination, having a good laugh. Henrik shows up on the porch after a moment, just watching, and Chase is attacked by Dominik. He screams and runs, falling on the grass and being all dramatic. Everyone seems to turn their back at him and just attack him, spraying water.

 

Henrik’s laugh reaches his ear and Chase brings Oliver down, pretending to bite his stomach and tickling everyone. They play some more and, in the afternoon, they get inside to watch a movie. He makes sure everyone is clean and Henrik’s the one that calls him out for dripping on the floor. Chase swears under his breath, saying he doesn’t have any spare clothes, and the doctor sighs while taking his hand. The green-haired man follows him upstairs and he swallows when they enter the man’s bedroom.

 

“Take off your shirt,” Henrik says and Chase’s eyes widen. “I’m lending you something, calm down.”

 

“O-Oh, okay.”

 

Chase removes his damp jacket and pulls his shirt up, taking it off. He bites his bottom lip when the man comes back and Henrik’s eyes fall down to his chest. The tips of Chase’s ears burn and the German’s cheeks gain more color while giving him a white long-sleeved shirt. The green-haired man murmurs a thanks and places it over his head, pulling it down. It’s slightly bigger in him and he snorts, saying Henrik shouldn’t be that tall. The brown-haired man just hums with a small smile, blinking at him. Chase holds his breath when the man raises his hand, gently touching his bottom lip with his thumb. Henrik whispers that he needs to stop biting it and the boy’s heart beats like a drum, not knowing what to do. Fuck. Oh, god. The doctor is looking at him through his eyelashes and, when he leans forward, Chase steps back and turns around. Henrik calls him, a worried tone in his voice, but the boy just runs back downstairs with wide eyes and finds his kids.

 

He would leave right there and then, if it wasn’t for them. Chase wouldn’t want to ruin the rest of their day, so he just sits between Oliver and Victoria while Dominik puts on a movie. He doesn’t know what he’s watching, his mind is _everywhere_. He’s having a inner panic attack but he does his best to act cool around them. Chase swallows, realizing how close Henrik was. Did he just try to kiss him? Did he? His eyes are glued to the tv when the German comes back down, quietly sitting on the other end of the couch. Chase looks forward almost the entire movie, barely moving when his kids fall asleep next to him. He purses his lips and glances at Henrik at some point, catching his blue eyes. He has an arm over Dominik’s shoulders and they both tense up, looking away. Ah, god. This is terrible. This is a fucking disaster.

 

It’s sadly a relief when the movie is over and he gently wakes up his kids, saying they gotta go back to their home. Oliver wraps his arms around Chase’s shoulders, so he carries him while holding Victoria’s hand. Henrik offers to hold their bags and the green-haired man lets Dominik keep his hat. They slowly walk outside and he helps getting Ollie inside the car, putting on their seatbelts. Chase whispers a thank you, still wanting to be polite, and Henrik nods.

 

“Chasey, I didn’t mean t-”

 

“Okay, talk to you later! Thank you for today, Henrik,” the boy cuts his off and gets inside the car.

 

He turns on the ignition, tightening his hands around the steering wheel, and he drives away. He still needs to stop by Stacy’s house and leave the kids, so he keeps that panic inside until they’re safe and sound. When Chase parks his car in his building, he doesn’t leave right away and just stares ahead. He had a wonderful day. Fucking hell, it was one of the best days he had in a long time. But then, Henrik had to be touching him on his hip. Staring at his lips. Whispering so close. Chase also kissed his cheek, didn’t he? Oh, hell. What is happening to him? He feels like a goddamn teenager all over again. Henrik was never that handsy before… Right? The boy grimaces, remembering all those times they gazed at each other when younger but never really doing anything about it.

 

He rests his forehead against the steering wheel. He’s a fucking mess, though. Why would Henrik want to try something? Maybe he got it all wrong. Maybe it was nothing. It doesn’t really help that he can smell the brown-haired man, still wearing his shirt. Chase left behind his damp jacket and shirt, but he doesn’t mind that all that much. That’s nothing in comparison to the situation. Fuck, their kids got along so well too. It was so goddamn _nice._ He had to panic in the end, didn’t he? That’s so embarrassing. He tugs on his bracelets, thinking about it, and he sighs. This is giving him a headache.

  


* * *

 

 

He buys a few bottles of whiskey a couple of days later.

 

Chase hasn’t been answering Henrik’s text, too anxious still, and he wants to feel good again. He knew he had failed the moment he parked in front of a liquor store, eyes casted down at the floor. Chase’s itching to taste it, to not think too much for once. He’s exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, and it’s always _so_ quiet in his apartment. The green-haired man knows he moved to have that, but sometimes it’s _too_ much. Sometimes he misses all that chaos between their roommates. Maybe everything he did was wrong. Maybe this was a mistake. He fails everything anyway, it shouldn’t be surprising.

 

He’s sitting down on the floor, back against the couch, and he’s staring at the whiskey bottles in front of him. He doesn’t have a coffee table, so everything is on the ground, cup of glass next to him. The green-haired man swallows, dragging a hand over his face. Chase taps his fingers on his thighs, biting his bottom lip, and he huffs. He grabs a bottle and uncaps it, the strong smell burning his nostrils. He takes a deep breath, catching that familiar scent, and he closes his eyes for a second. Chase pours some in his glass and stares down at it, throat never feeling so dry before. He tears up, lips quivering, and he holds back a sob when the drink touches his mouth. He tilts the glass and his head, knitting his eyebrows, and the whiskey burns down to his chest. A warm sensation kisses his stomach, slowly spreading all over his body, and tears fall down his face.

 

Chase drinks more, the corners of his eyes red, and he thinks of his kids and Henrik. What a big failure he is. Why did Henrik touch him like that? It only made him more confused. And goddamnit, part of him really liked it. He’s desperate for touch. For _something._ Chase groans and shakes his head after a moment, sighing when his vision swims just a little. He knows this. He’s _good_ at this. The green-haired man likes how his tongue feels heavy the more he drinks and how everything seems so slow. He rests his head against the couch, staring at the ceiling while that buzz hits him. His stomach and chest are warm, tingling, and he finally relaxes. Chase sniffs, shaking his head every now and then to feel more dizzy, and he wipes his tears away.

 

When half of a bottle is done, he pulls his legs up and covers his face in the middle of the room. His thoughts are tangling, fuzzy, but he still very much has Henrik in his mind. Chase pats his thighs, taking out his cell phone from his pocket, and he stares at the screen for a long time. He narrows his eyes at the brightness and it takes a moment for him to unlock it, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. The green-haired man drinks two more glasses before finding Henrik’s number and he doesn’t think twice before texting him. Chase hiccups and doesn’t bother pouring whiskey in a glass, drinking straight from the bottle. He types slow, letters scrambling before him, and he makes a good effort to send him messages.

 

**To Henrik, 9:43pm:**

_u smeel like cinmon_

 

**From Henrik, 9:45pm:**

_What?_

 

**To Henrik, 9:45pm:**

_u fuckkin smel like cinna mon i like it_

 

There’s no immediate answer after that and he frowns, not getting it. Fuck, who knows. Maybe Henrik is busy. Chase can’t remember what time he leaves his work, to be honest. He lies down on the floor, chugging the rest of the bottle and letting it roll to the other side. The green-haired man blinks and he sees that man so close, touching his lip with his thumb. That goddamn strand of hair out of place. There’s a sound in the air and he scowls more, trying to find out what it is, only to raise his hand to see his cell phone, buzzing. Henrik’s name is on the screen and he smiles like an idiot, dragging his finger to pick it up.

 

 _“Chase? Is everything alright?”_ the doctor’s voice reaches his ear and he blinks with heavy eyelids, mouth ajar, and it takes a moment for him to process the words. _“Chase!”_

 

“I’m…” he mumbles, words slurred. Dragging. “Did you wan’ to kiss me? Did you? Even back then… Our university. God, you should… I should’ve let you kiss me tha’ day...”

 

_“Oh, Chase… Have you been drinking?”_

 

The green-haired man looks at the second bottle next to him, ready to be open. He shakes his head first, mumbling a _Nope._ He laughs to himself and Henrik is quiet. Chase keeps talking that the brown-haired man smells nice and that he misses him. He misses their days back at the dorm, still young and naive. He complains about what happened, tongue loose, and Henrik doesn’t say anything for a long time. The green-haired man uncaps the second bottle and he struggles to put it up to his mouth, cursing under his breath. Everything is _so_ slow, what the fuck. Chase’s eyelids are so fucking heavy and he knits his eyebrows when the German finally speaks to him, interrupting half of a high school story.

 

 _“Is your door locked?”_ he asks and Chase murmurs a _Yeah._ _“Chase, listen to me. I need you to get up and unlock it for me. Can you do that?”_

 

“Why…?”

 

_“Just do it, darling.”_

 

Chase snorts and repeats the word _darlin’_ , finding it funny. He groans and sits up, world swimming. The green-haired man blinks hard, eyes widening so he can focus on something. He doesn’t let go of the bottle nor the cell phone, stumbling a couple of times and using the couch as support to stand up. Chase swears and falls on the couch for a moment, not having balance. Henrik calls for him, urging him to act fast, and the green-haired man tries again. Jesus, why is it so hard to walk? Stupid legs. Chase is half walking, half dragging himself against a white wall, really trying his best. He glares at the door and he has to lean down to put the bottle on the floor. That doesn’t feel so good.

 

He fumbles with the key, twisting to the left in the keyhole, and he eventually unlocks it. Aha! Chase smiles, proud of himself, and he picks up the bottle while turning around. Something still doesn’t feel so good when he walks back to the living room and he groans, knees weak. His face scrunches up, tearing up again, and he sobs. The bottle slips from his fingers, not shattering but spilling alcohol on his floor, and he drags a hand over his face. Henrik says something but he doesn’t get it. He fucking doesn’t. His heart races and his stomach folds. Suddenly it’s not fun anymore, everything spinning. It’s too much.

 

“H-Henry…” Chase cries. “I d-don’t feel well… I’m… I’m tired and I just w-”

 

The corners of his eyes turn black and he feels a sudden rush of cold, giving him goosebumps. He drops the cell phone too and his knees buckle, making him fall with a loud thud. Chase’s eyes roll back and he just straight up passes out, face down on the ground.

 

Everything after that happens in cuts, a blur to him.

 

He doesn’t know when, but at some point, he sees Henrik looking down at him. Then, he blinks and he sees a toilet in front of him. Chase feels something being shoved down his throat and he gags, stomach folding and throwing up. He’s sweating and trembling, hair damp, and Henrik must be holding him still because he’s all jello. There’s an awful taste in his mouth and his throat burns. It’s disgusting and he sees black again. The boy loses track of time and something stirs him awake. He feels fingers brushing through his hair and he sighs, slowly trying to open his eyes. They’re still somewhat heavy, vision blurred, and he blinks several times to see better. Chase knits his eyebrows, realizing he’s lying down on his mattress, and he sees Henrik next to him. He pulls his hand away and the boy holds back a whine. Fuck, he’s still drunk.

 

“Hey,” the brown-haired man whispers. “How are you feeling?”

 

Chase purses his lips, foreseeing a headache. “I feel like… trash.”

 

“You scared me, you know that? Don’t do that again,” the man continues and the green-haired man looks at him through half-lidded eyes. He looks so worried, so tired too. “You weren’t answering me and I found you on the floor, for fuck’s sakes.”

 

Henrik rarely swears, so Chase knows he’s really fucking pissed. The boy curls into a ball, still feeling nauseous, and the German lets out a long sigh. He tells Chase to get some rest and sleep more, and he doesn’t need to say that twice. The green-haired man all but buries his face into the pillow, ready to crash. He can’t make out his dreams for shit, everything hazy and weird. Chase sleeps all night, barely moving, body heavy. He doesn’t react right away when the sunlight kisses his face and he just stirs himself awake calmly, chest rising with a deep breath. The boy blinks and rubs his eyes, grimacing at a headache. He feels a new weight next to him and he turns around, seeing Henrik’s back. His lips part at the sight, realizing the man slept there. He didn’t leave. Fuck. Last night is a blur, but he sees the German’s worried face in his mind. Oh, Chase. What have you done?

 

He moves closer and he rests his forehead between Henrik’s shoulderblades, sighing and holding onto the man’s shirt. Chase drowns in that familiar scent, so different from that bottle of whiskey. It’s fresh, with a hint of cinnamon. The boy feels Henrik take a deep breath, stretching a bit while waking up, and he turns around. Chase looks at him and the brown-haired man has no glasses on, hair messy, eyes narrowed. Damn. He swallows and ducks his head, ashamed. Henrik sighs and sits up, cleaning his eyes and grabbing his glasses next to that one lamp. The doctor fixes his hair and clears his throat, getting up, and Chase doesn’t even bother to ask if he’s leaving. That wouldn’t be surprising. Now that he knows the boy is awake and, well, not fucking drunk, his job is done. The green-haired man stays in bed, staring at that empty spot, and he feels _so_ lonely.

 

“Chase,” Henrik’s voice calls his attention and he looks up to see the man by the door. “C’mon, you need to shower. I’m making coffee. Don’t make me undress you and shower you myself, because I will if I have to.” The boy sits up, heart clenching, and he nods. “And leave the door ajar. Let me know when you’re done, I’m cutting your hair.”

 

Chase frowns but doesn’t question it, just groaning while standing up. Fucking hell, his head feels like is being split in half. He walks into the bathroom, wincing at the artificial light, and he looks in the mirror. Chase looks like shit, red droopy eyes and shaggy hair. He brushes his teeth, getting rid of that bitter taste in his mouth, and he undresses before entering the shower. The green-haired man sighs and washes himself, wanting to feel better. He tries remembering last night properly, but it’s just blurry images of Henrik. Goddamnit, he must’ve given the man such a fright. That was so reckless of him. Chase just wanted to forget and have a good time, but he clearly drank too much. He clenches his jaw when he’s done, drying himself and wrapping a towel around his waist. He calls for Henrik and the man walks inside without a shame, telling Chase to sit down on the toilet.

 

The boy flushes but obeys, knowing the brown-haired man is rather upset at the moment. He doesn’t want to make things worse. He watches Henrik pick up scissors and a comb, running his hands through Chase’s damp hair. The air is tense around them and the boy chews his bottom lip, listening to the scissors snipping his hair. He looks down at the tiled floor, curling his toes, and he sees strands of hair falling down. Part of him wants to say he can do that by himself, but something tells him the German won’t like that attitude very much. Chase wonders if that’s how he is as a father. He’s definitely carrying a higher aura right now, as if no one should question his actions. By the time he’s done, the boy’s eyes are filled with tears and he lets out a sob, resting his forehead on Henrik’s stomach. The man sighs, but caresses his hair, and Chase hugs his waist.

 

“I’m so sorry,” the green-haired man whispers. “I’m so sorry I worried you. I didn’t mean it… I r-really didn’t. I just… I was confused and sometimes it’s j-just… Sometimes everything is so s-scary… Henry, I’m always s-so scared.”

 

“Chasey… Darling.” He sniffs and looks up at the man, heart clenching at that nickname. “I care about you. I always did. You gotta talk to me, alright? I don’t want this to happen again.” Chase nods and Henrik brushes his thumb on his cheek, wiping tears away. “Are you alright? Do I have your word?”

 

“I… I will try, yeah…”

 

The brown-haired man pushes his glasses up to his nose and murmurs about them having breakfast. Chase nods and goes to the bedroom briefly to get dressed, just putting on clean boxer briefs and throwing a black t-shirt over his head. He’s too tired to bother with something else. The smell of coffee is in the air and he runs a hand through his freshly cut hair, seeing Henrik in the kitchen. The man gives him a mug of coffee, with a little bit of milk and sugar, the way he always liked it. Chase still loves tea the most, but right now this is what he needs. The brown-haired man sits on a stool across from him, sipping from his own black coffee, and he gives the boy a plate with scrambled eggs and toast. When he asks about Henrik’s work, the man murmurs that someone will replace him for today. He said he had a family emergency. Chase nods quietly, shoulders hunched down.

 

They steal glances between bites and sips of coffee, and the doctor asks if he remembers last night. Chase shakes his head, saying not much. Henrik hums and looks down at his plate, poking the rest of it. The brown-haired man opens and closes his mouth, as if thinking of what he will say, and the boy looks at him.

 

“The answer is yes, though.”

 

“Huh?” Chase knits his eyebrows.

 

“You asked me last night… If I wanted to kiss you, even before we were married,” Henrik whispers. “Yes, I did.”

 

The green-haired man drops his fork and a strained sound leaves his lips. He covers his face, heart aching, and it’s an inexplicable pain that hits him. They both feel that pang of what their lives would’ve been. Chase very much loves his kids and he wouldn’t replace them for anything in the world, but he can’t deny that it hurts knowing everything would’ve be completely different if one of them reacted first. Henrik calls him softly and the boy lowers his hands, not having the strength to smile. To put on a mask. The brown-haired man touches his wrist, caressing his skin, and Chase sighs. They’re both messed up, in some way. They both suffered a lot. He entwines their fingers and he craves that contact, that warmth. Henrik tigthens their hold.

 

“I really enjoyed our Sunday together. Dominik really liked Oliver and Victoria. He wears your hat almost all day, to the point I have to take it off myself,” he murmurs and Chase huffs, rubbing his thumb on the man’s skin as well. “Do you wish for that to happen more? Because I do… I want you there with us. With me.”

 

“I… Henry,” the boy grimaces. “I can’t go through that again. I want it, but I can’t. I’m scared of losing everything again. I won’t handle it, I won’t be able to put myself together for a second time...”

 

Henrik stands up and Chase’s heart beats faster, worried that that was it. He lost that opportunity to be happy and the man gave up already. The brown-haired man moves closer, urging the boy to get up as well, and he cups Chase’s face. They exchange a look and his eyes flutter at the light contact, leaning into it. They bump their foreheads and their hips touch, so close. The green-haired man bites his bottom lip and Henrik repeats that same move from before, brushing his thumb there so he can stop. Chase breathes into his scent, touching the back of Henrik’s head to caresses his hair, and the German sighs. He whispers that it will be different and he will give the boy space whenever he needs. The brown-haired man murmurs sweet nothings, promising so many things that it makes Chase tear up.

 

The green-haired man knits his eyebrows and pulls Henrik forward, catching his lips to shut him up. The man gasps and Chase adds pressure, their chaste kiss making a loud sound when pulling away. They peck their lips, over and over, and he murmurs Henrik talks too much. He hums and they close their eyes, tilting their heads and opening their mouths. Chase moans when their tongues brush, beards scratching, and his heart races. Oh god, this is so good. Henrik pushes him until the boy’s back is against a wall, and he slides his hands underneath Chase’s shirt. The green-haired man sighs a moan, wet lips smacking, and the German presses his body against the boy’s.

 

“We…” Chase mumbles between kisses, heart fluttering. “W-We should’ve done t-this a long time ago… F-Fuck.”

 

“You t-tell me…”

 

His eyes flutter when Henrik goes down to his neck and he wants to melt in the man’s arm. His knees buckle and the brown-haired man laughs in the crook of his neck, holding him up. They giggle and Chase ruffles his hair, finally ruining those perfect strands. Henrik kisses his cheeks, nose and forehead. The boy half laughs, half moans, when they grind against each other. The German places his thigh between Chase’s legs, and the green-haired man rests the back of his head against the wall. He winces, though, headache still present, and Henrik cups his cheeks to kiss him some more. Chase groans, biting the man’s bottom lip, and he gasps in a stronger move. Henrik stops, both catching their breaths, and the boy’s heart is beating a mile a minute.

 

“Are you alright?” the German asks.

 

“I-I have never… I don’t know, this is… Uh, new.”

 

“Hey, hey.” Chase listens to the man, staring at his blue eyes. He looks so good with that messy hair and pink lips. “We don’t have to do anything right now. Forgive me if I went too far, it’s just that… Well, it’s you.”

 

Chase snorts and drags a hand over his face, smiling. Henrik murmurs he likes him that way and the boy steals more kisses, hugging the man. He sucks on the German’s tongue, tugging slightly on his hair, and Henrik gasps into his mouth. It’s Chase’s turn to leave him breathless, biting his earlobe and jaw. Cupping his ass cheeks and kissing him hard. When he breaks the kiss, the brown-haired man still leans forward as if wanting some more, but the boy just grins. Henrik blinks, mouth ajar, and he clears his throat. Chase flushes with a thought, pursing his lips, and the man touches his chin to call his attention. The green-haired man whispers he will still want to try something, but he doesn’t have anything in the apartment. Henrik’s cheeks redden but he nods, saying he can go out and buy some stuff. The brown-haired man steps back, adjusting his shirt and glasses. Chase holds back a grin, watching him trying to look decent, and Henrik mumbles he won’t be long.

 

Ah, god. They _kissed._ Chase kissed him. They totally just made-out in the hallway. The green-haired man covers his face, taking a deep breath. Fuck, he wishes he didn’t have a headache now, though. He does feel a bit better after showering and having breakfast. Especially after kissing Henrik. He sighs, thinking that this is really happening. He hopes the man is right, that this is different. He doesn’t want to get hurt. Chase’s so scared about it, he doesn’t want to lose something he loves. It’s already hard enough seeing his kids for just a day. It will break his heart. He shakes his head, not wanting to overthink right now. Plus, Henrik was so patient when taking care of him. He always were, wasn’t he?

 

Chase walks into his bedroom, lying down on his mattress and staring at the ceiling. He throws an arm over his eyes, still feeling Henrik’s lips on his. A hint of coffee and fresh mint. He brushes his fingers on his mouth, sighing. It felt so good being pressed against the brown-haired man, rutting together. Overwhelming. His heart has finally calmed down, though, and his breathing is even. Chase relaxes in bed, mind clear, and it’s the sound of the door opening and closing that calls his attention. He lowers his arm to see Henrik walking in, holding a plastic bag and a glass of water. They exchange a look and the brown-haired man murmurs he brought something for his headache. The boy huffs a small smile, sitting up to take some aspirin, and he drinks a bit of water.

 

Henrik sits down next to him, kissing his temple, and Chase turns his face to look at him. It’s so odd to have him doing that. The boy’s so touch-starved, everything makes him feel surprised. He purses his lips and places his hand on Henrik’s chest to push him down, moving to be on top of the man. The German huffs, resting his head on the pillow and he does nothing, letting Chase take a look at him. The boy caresses his hair, down to his cheeks and neck. He doesn’t want to think of _what ifs_ , about what could’ve happened. He needs to focus on right now. Henrik underneath him, being kind. Chase takes off his glasses and touches his beard, tugging on it. When he leans down for a slow kiss, the man hums into his mouth. The green-haired man brushes their noses together, licking his lips and gasping. Henrik moves his hands to touch his thighs, squeezing them, and Chase deepens the kiss.

 

They sigh and moan, wet lips making a sound, and the boy moves his hips. The German takes a deep breath, cupping his ass cheeks, but mumbles they don’t have to do anything again. Chase whispers he wants it, though. He needs it. He wants to feel this. The green-haired man wants nothing more than to feel _good_ for once. Henrik rolls up Chase’s shirt up to his chest and slides his hand under his boxer briefs, wrapping his fingers around the boy’s cock. He mewls, thrusting forward, and his heart beats faster. Oh, god. Chase buries his face in the crook of Henrik’s neck, moaning and humping. The brown-haired man groans and the boy sits up to remove his underwear. Chase unzips the man’s pants, watching him take off his shirt. They get undressed and the boy gasps when Henrik changes their places.

 

The brown-haired man caresses his sides and the boy has goosebumps, breathing picking up. Henrik whispers he will be careful, slow, and Chase huffs. He does tense up when the man takes a small bottle of lube from the bag, along with a condom. They exchange a look and the doctor holds his hand to soothe him while the other goes down to his asshole. Chase entwines their fingers and he closes his eyes, knitting his eyebrows at the feeling. Henrik whispers sweet nothings, gently stretching him. The green-haired man murmurs he’s fine and his cock twitches when there’s a second finger, scissoring him. He gasps and moans after a moment, spreading his legs more, and Henrik praises him. They keep going for quite some time and it warms his heart how caring the man’s being with him.

 

Henrik pulls his fingers out and opens a condom with care. Chase sobs and the brown-haired man curses under his breath when he slowly penetrates the boy. They tighten their hold, knuckles turning white, and Chase’s eyes are glassy. Mind hazy. Ah, jesus. His chest is moving up and down and he does his best to relax. Henrik leans down to kiss his forehead, down to his mouth, and the boy pants. He feels so full and warm. Chase wraps his legs around the man’s waist and the German bumps his nose against his cheek, sighing. They move together, slow and steady, and the boy moans louder with every thrust. He’s licking precum and, jesus fucking christ, this feels amazing. Chase hugs Henrik, drowning in his scent, and the man lets out hot breaths into his ear.

 

“O-Oh, Henry… Henry,” he mewls. “Harder!”

 

“Mm,” the brown-haired man sighs and quickens his pace, skin smacking. Chase arches his back, head falling onto the pillow, and he buries his nails into the man’s skin. “I’m being very, v-very patient with you right now but… I’m g-gonna teach you some lessons later… For worrying the s-shit out of me.”

 

Chase half chuckles, half moans, and he ruffles Henrik’s hair just to piss him off. The man bites his neck and holds his thigh up, burying himself deeper and making the boy wail. Chase can’t help but smile, despite this little playful thing, and the corners of his eyes burn with tears. Henrik’s glare leaves his face and he asks if the boy is alright, if he did something wrong. The green-haired man shakes his head and steals a kiss, crying. The doctor seems confused but Chase murmurs he’s just _happy._ They exchange a look and his eyes turn into half-moons, smiling, and Henrik huffs. They thrust some more, heart beating like a drum against his ribcage, and his breathing turns sharp and fast. Chase’s toes curl, body squirming, and he mewls when the man jerks him a couple of times.

 

His balls tense up and he cums, hot white strings smearing their stomachs. Chase spasms underneath Henrik, waves of his orgasm hitting him, and he groans. The brown-haired man thrusts some more and he stops, convulsing and jizzing inside of him. Chase knits his eyebrows, panting with his mouth open, and Henrik rests his forehead against the boy’s. They catch their lips, lazily kissing, and the green-haired man sighs. The German makes a motion to pull out but Chase stops him, still wanting to feel him inside. Henrik blushes but stays still, both just hugging and calming down their hearts. The boy’s high from ecstasy, blinking softly at the ceiling, and he huffs with a thought.

 

“I touched myself thinking of you once…” he whispers, caressing Henrik’s disheveled hair. “Back when you were my roommate, in university. You were such a nerd, nose always buried in a book. Your glasses were almost twice the size of your head.”

 

“You were always throwing parties… Typical teenager.”

 

“Hey, we were eighteen! I was an adult, a _bad_ one, but still.”

 

They’re almost on their thirties now, damn. Chase adjusts a little bit, feeling Henrik’s soft cock inside of him, and they gasp. He likes this. He really does. There’s a sense of calm wrapping them like a blanket and it’s been _so_ goddamn long since Chase felt that. When it gets quieter, only them lightly touching each other, the brown-haired man purses his lips and moves to look down at the boy better.

 

“You haven’t really answered me,” he mutters. “Will you stay with me?”

 

Chase’s heart skips a beat and his lips part in deep thought. That fear is still very much there. He’s fragile, as much as he hates to admit it. Even now, he’s afraid this moment will end. That this is the only time he will get to be happy. Chase takes a deep breath, staring at him, and he sees something similar to that in Henrik’s eyes too. The brown-haired man is covered with invisible, emotional scars as well. It’s not just him. The boy brushes his knuckles on the man’s cheek. He thinks of Ollie and Vickie. Dominik. Chase recalls the reason he came there, to that apartment. He told Henrik he was seeking for quiet times, but that wasn't all true. The green-haired man desperately wanted to find _something_ to hold onto. To feel alive. He blinks and he pushes that little strand of hair away from the man’s forehead.

 

“Yeah,” he says. “I will.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [My tumblr](http://sparklepines.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Chase's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/marvelsoo/playlist/3nH7ZZDdqWObEkLqkzNIPe?si=4ymih4sNSEWZyn_rVsWCeQ)   
>  [If you like what I do, feel free to show some support!](https://ko-fi.com/sparklepines)   
> 


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